Website, Reboot

General ramblings about web coding, life and other stuff


Early Images

One of my earliest memories is an image of my father loading some furniture and stuff into the back of our brown station wagon. I distinctly remember the lamp. The one from the living room. My dad was moving out. My parents were getting divorced.

So I have this memory and it must have affected the development of my personality, right? But if it did, I can’t see it. I don’t think it did. In some sense, the fact that my parents were divorced is just that, a fact. I am neither happy nor sad about that event. It just is. A picture on my brain. Just like so many others.

I wonder if, at the point at which I figure out how this really does affect me, I’ll be at the point that a computer is when it becomes self-aware. You know, a computer is locked up in the program that it’s working on, the tasks assigned it by a human using code. It has no extra capacity for such a level of awareness.

I think as personal development goes, when you realize with an “external mind” of sorts, how the inputs into your life (nature and nurture) affect who you are, you reach a new place in how you view yourself and your world. I’ve found that I am slowly moving to this new place step by step, yet I haven’t been able to discern if and how this memory affects me. I guess when I do, I’ll have reached the end. Maybe. :)