I lost my watch this weekend.
Normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal, and in the past it hasn’t been, but this watch was special watch. It was given to me by my wife on our wedding day. I’d worn it on my wrist for seven years and the day I lost it, it was in my pocket. Why it was in my pocket is not important, but my pocket is usually a very safe place for my watch. Tonight it wasn’t.
Over the years, I’ve become really good at backtracking and following my steps and I did that when I realized my watch was missing. I remember it being in my pocket. I remember moving my keys from one pocket to another because I didn’t want to scratch the watch. One cab ride, one dinner and two or so hours later, as I left the restaurant I realized the watch was not in my pocket. And I do not know how this happened.
I was optimistic. It must be in my work bag. Maybe it fell out of my pocket in the booth at dinner? Or the cab? Neither reported having found a watch. I called both two times, spoke to some very helpful people (thank you, St Louis for your kind and friendly residents)
But at this point, two days later, the watch is gone. I have little hope of recovering it and now the upset and sadness sets in. There are few times where I didn’t wear the watch and I now realize how often it is that I look to my wrist to check the time.
To say that this is an exercise in acceptance is an understatement. I had to tell my wife that I lost her wedding present. I think that was harder than anything. It’s insured and I could theoretically get another, but it won’t be the same, will it? It won’t have that little dent in the metal where I once knocked it against a shelf. And I’ll be terrified of losing it again. Of going through this again.
I’ve lost things before and it’s sort of become annoying in their regularity. There’s a particular kind of water bottle that we like. Flat when empty, no bad chemicals. I’ve lost three of these while traveling. I’m tired of losing things.
I have to keep telling myself that I’ve done all I can and that it’s just a thing, but the thing had meaning to me and now that’s gone. Deep down inside I feel a sense of loss and disappointment that will continue until I accept this new aspect to my world.