Website, Reboot

General ramblings about web coding, life and other stuff

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Plus ça change…

I have recently come to the conclusion, or I am being painfully reminded of a certain universal constant. That is, the only constant in life is change. If things aren’t changing something is wrong. Really wrong. Don’t believe it? Try this, think about you job. What happens if you stop learning? Stop trying to do new things? Stop stretching yourself beyond your boundaries? Stop changing? You stagnate. You get stuck. Passed over for promotions. Yes, I’m being a bit extreme, but there’s a grain of truth in there.

Ok here’s another. There’s a joke I read somewhere “Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.” Funny. Ha ha. But we wouldn’t be nostalgic for how things were if they hadn’t changed.

Take the weather, which is always changing (catastrophic events aside, like tornadoes) What would we do with ourselves if we couldn’t complain about the weather? Think of all the opportunities for small talk that would be missed or bore us to death.

That’s life! And we wouldn’t have life without change.

So my life is changing, as it has for the past two years, give or take. What gets me is that why the changes seem so huge. Big, life-altering, change-your-retirement-plans, the future-is-not-as-you-thought-it-would-be changes. Things that make you look back and reevaluate… everything. How did I get here? What motivated me to do this or that? Did I really cause that to happen? How do I make up for it? How do I fix it? Can it be fixed? All the while trying not to beat yourself up over it because at the time you thought you were making good decisions, analyzing all possibilities and doing what was right for yourself, but in the end, you were, for many years, an ignorant 15-year-old who thought he knew everything.

And looking back, you want to smack yourself in the forehead. *smack*smack* Twice. Three times. Yes, some of the catalysts of change are myself, but sometimes it seems like others just come from nowhere. And coping with all of this at once can be a daunting task at a minimum.

You look around and you see people, friends, coworkers who have good lives and don’t have these problems and you say to yourself “Gee, they have it easy and I have it hard. Life sucks.” But every now and again you meet someone who seems to have it together on the outside, but on the inside things are all screwy and you have to step back and reassess and remember that comparing yourself to others is a dumb thing to do. Maybe most people just handle the things life throws at them better than others. Can I do that, too?

Life is change. Anything who says different is… lying?

But still, does it always have to be so hard? Where’s the change for the positive? Sooner or later, the dealer has to deal me an ace, right? Right? Bueller?

 

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Springtime

Traditionally, spring has been pretty rough for me, and on some days, it still is. What with all the trees and flowers and grass and plants gettin’ busy. For whatever reason, that particular part of my DNA doesn’t seem to want to tell my body that the pollen isn’t bad for me, or my body continues to think it is.

But in either case, as I’ve mentioned before, I take public transit to work and that has given me the opportunity to see things I’ve never taken the time to really see before. No, it’s not the gaggle of navy officers in their dress whites that inundated the subway car one day last fall. Nor is it the arrogance and audacity of the guy who sticks his foot in the subway door and forces his way in. Nor yet is it the smooth businessman hitting on the lady standing next to him when the train was superbly crowded (punchline: “When I’m this close to a woman, we usually have drinks.”)

New Tree Growth

New Tree Growth on an evergreen tree.

No, today, its nature in the springtime. I nearly always avoid being outdoors or opening the windows during the high point of spring. Usually it’s the insanely high pollen levels that would reduce me to a sniffling, sneezing, disgusting blob of concentrated unhappy. Thanks to modern medicine (screw you, DNA!) I can do moderately well most days in the spring, with some caveats that I can handle.

So I walk to the bus and I walk to work and I stand outside waiting for the metro. And this week, on the way to the bus stop, I saw, for the first time in either my entire life or so many years that I’ve forgotten, I saw a tree growing.

Yeah, I know! Crazy, huh? Trees take years to grow! But if you look closely and look at the right time of year, you can watch it happen. Day by day, opening like the petals on a flower, a tree produces its own new sprig of leaves. Once you know what to look for, it’s easy to see, but the evergreens and conifers show it most vividly in that their new growth so brightly contrasts with the old.

We’ve had a rainy winter and spring, so the ground is quite saturated. I think that’s contributing to the explosive grown in the trees this year. To be honest, we’re overdue give the dryness of the past couple of years. Even the grass is growing like mad (much to the disapproval of my nose), but it’s good to see. Very good to see.

So spring continues and summer will come, but I’m in no hurry. I’m enjoying the show.